The Proper Way to Christmas
by mapplepie
Summary: On Christmas Eve, Sasuke decided to vandalise Naruto's apartment … in a manner of speaking. Thankfully Kakashi managed to stop him in time - and then accidentally enlightened his student the wonders of reverse robberies instead.


_a/n: This fic is set after "There's Nothing Like Christmas", but can be read alone._

 _But_ _yeah, I decided to put it into a series revolving around reverse robberies, haha. So, after Naruto(previous fic) and Sasuke(this fic), I'm thinking something for Sakura and also Kakashi in the coming Christmases :) We'll see._

* * *

Some days Kakashi wondered if he had a sixth sense for detecting when his precious genin were out to cause mischief. He'd only just landed on a nearby rooftop when he saw Sasuke standing below Naruto's apartment window, arm wound back with a heavy object in hand, and looking so ready to commit vandalism.

He quickly slipped behind the Uchiha.

For a second he had flashbacks to his last Christmas Eve's encounter with Naruto and wondered if his decision to stop Sasuke would lead to just as much regret.

"I'm sure Naruto would prefer his windows intact," Kakashi said cautiously, fingers latched tightly around the boy's offending arm.

Sasuke jolted at his presence, limbs jerking in Kakashi's hold. The jounin carefully studied the lumpy package in Sasuke's hand, making no movement to release him.

"Let go of me!" the Uchiha snarled to his inaction.

Kakashi hummed noncommittally to himself.

Honestly, it would be so easy to dismiss the incriminating projectile as a bundle of heavy rocks, if not for the festively coloured paper that held it together, bound with too much cellophane tape. Kakashi plucked it completely from the boy's hand, turning the package thoughtfully, until small letters spelling out ' _To: Idiot,'_ suddenly caught his eye.

Ah yes, it was Christmas, wasn't it.

"Give it back," Sasuke demanded, face flushed red, though obviously more from embarrassment than actual anger. He squirmed uncomfortably under Kakashi's scrutiny.

"So… spreading the Christmas joy?" Kakashi said, shaking the obvious present.

Sasuke harrumphed, crossed his arms, and tried too hard to look casual. "I'm just returning the favour from last year. We're even now," the boy tried to justify.

"Not if you freeze Naruto out of his home."

"He'll be fine," Sasuke muttered moodily. His eyes locked unmovingly onto Kakashi's hostage.

Sometimes Kakashi wondered when his woes turned from despairing for his team's lack of teamwork to despairing for these kids' lack of common sense. "There are better ways that don't require damage reimbursement," he said. Kakashi paused, and when Sasuke didn't react, added exasperatedly, "Such as handing it directly to him?"

Sasuke flinched.

"Of course not," Kakashi uttered, rolling his eye. What was it Naruto said last year: ' _Boys don't give other boys gifts'_? Why was that a _thing?_

He let out a loud sigh instead.

"Never mind, just reverse rob him and get it over with," Kakashi said, making shooing motions. It was the lesser of two evils. "Don't break Naruto's window."

He pressed the lumpy present firmly back into the boy's hands, ready to call it a day and let his helpless kids be kids. He was too old for this mess, and too old to understand children anymore, it seemed. It certainly didn't help that he was saddled with the most headache-inducing lot.

"Just _what_ him _?"_ Sasuke cut in incredulously.

Kakashi blinked.

"Reverse rob?" he repeated, but Sasuke only stared blankly back. "Also known as the act of sneaking into your teammate's house to slip in a gift without them noticing," Kakashi continued carefully, as though reciting from the dictionary. Though it was more like echoing Naruto's explanation, because no, _reverse robbery_ was still not an actual term, despite Naruto's insistence.

Sasuke looked thoughtful.

Kakashi despaired for his boys.

Had he prayed too earnestly when he wished for his students to follow Naruto's example, because he hadn't meant like this! Sasuke would be mortified when he realised he was considering Naruto's brand of logic.

Speaking of his students… "What did you do with Sakura's present?" Kakashi asked curiously. Unlike Naruto, Sasuke hadn't bothered to hand her anything during training that morning.

Sasuke made a distressed sound from the back of his throat at the implication of him buying anything for his other teammate as well, because true or not, he was just that emotionally repressed.

Why couldn't they all be more like Sakura? She was clearly the only rational member of Team Seven, merrily handing out her gifts like a normal child that morning, without all this mess of impending criminal activity.

"Do I have to watch out for her father storming the streets looking for the hoodlum who broke his daughter's window?" Kakashi lamented.

"It was open!"

He threw it in. _Of course_ he threw it in.

Why did Kakashi expect anything else? It seemed like the proper phrase was ' _Boys don't give_ anyone _gifts'_.

The silver-haired man moaned woefully into his hands. "Forget it. I don't care. Just carry on," he said, waving him off. He might as well just let Sasuke do his thing, or else Naruto would never get his present at all. "You _do_ remember the stealth lessons I taught last year, right?"

Sasuke shot him a ' _who do you take me for'_ sort of stare, looking so haughty and irritable. It was rather endearing.

With that, Kakashi left him to play Santa, spinning on his heel, ready to hop back onto the rooftops and forget the whole encounter. He hadn't taken even a step away when there was a quiet "…Kakashi," from behind.

"Hmm?" the jounin acknowledged absentmindedly, turning back.

Something hard shoved into his stomach, rough and crinkly and held in Sasuke's thrusted hand. Kakashi lowered his gaze onto a slightly smaller package than earlier, but definitely not any less festively bright. His lips curled under his mask when he spotted his own name peeking from between Sasuke's fingers.

Still, "You're not planning to reverse rob me as well?" Kakashi asked pitifully, making no moves to accept it.

"You're right here. Just take it already," Sasuke grumbled.

Kakashi cocked his head innocently. "Mmm, afraid of the traps around my apartment, Sasuke? Shame, Naruto managed to get through them all last year. If you think you can't though…"

He slowly reached forward.

The boy's fingers clenched. Kakashi feared for his present as the bundle deformed inwards under his vice grip. Decisively, Sasuke snatched the present back and shoved it into his side pouch, out of Kakashi's sight.

"Fine, I'll play your stupid games," Sasuke snapped, taking several steps back for good measure.

Kakashi tried not to look too pleased.

With that, Kakashi wandered off once more, silently pondering Sasuke's ability in trap dismantlement because he doubted the boy had any actual practice. Well, there was no time like the present, and Kakashi knew with Sasuke's competitive streak, the boy would try relentlessly until he broke through.

With a merry hum, Kakashi made a mental note to add lessons to the syllabus as well.

Meanwhile, it seemed like it was time to head home and replace his traps with low-level substitutes. Sasuke's smug gloating the next day would be worth the trouble.

The things he did for these precious students of his.

* * *

 _a/n: Despite what Kakashi says, he's actually fond of reverse robberies, as you can tell._


End file.
